Housefull 2 review: It's just a bad movie

Yuck it sucks. Naturally. So this guy with a smile smoother than silk tells two of his ilk, “You langoors, have my angoors.” There’s much to-do about teri leli and phati for that double entendre titillation. And above all there’s this classic line, “Your brains have piles, or what?”

What indeed! Sajid Khan’s Housefull 2 also gets into sandaas, burps, stinks and sour belches. Truly this purported situational comedy relies so much on toilet humour that it’s likely to leave your tummy rumbling. Sorry this isn’t cinema, here’s just another execrable, knockabout farce hacked out by a director who may score a hit, and then trot out half a dozen interviews, guffawing, 'Who cares about the critics?' with the shallow addendum, “I make movies for the masses.” Yeah right, good luck Mr. Khan with your mission:*2#*!

Like the mindless potty-pourris of David Dhawan of yore (please don’t make a blasphemous comparison to Manmohan Desai), Khan cares a damn for the story material, good taste, editing and sound. As for the visuals, they are either blotchy or the colour of street ice golas. Ugh.

Women are showcased as bouncy dimbettes from the outset, what with two female animal activists, barging into a London circus. How the two Lipstick Lassies bicker about who should get the credit for talking in Hindi to blue-eyed Britons. In fact, it would seem that the Queen’s City has been entirely colonised by Indians. Presumably, the Brits have been taking Hindi language tutorials to fit into an NRI-controlled economy. How’s that for wishful thinking?

Anyway, so there you are in horrendously photographed London, trying to make sense of the warfare between two Kapoor brother (Randhir-Rishi Kapoor). Senior Kapoor is the illegitimate son of a rather feeble-looking white statue, while the other K shouts out loud about his pure pedigree. Both believe they will score over the other by finding a groom for those anti-circus daughters from the Hinduja, Mittal or JD families. Haiiiinh?

Of these, Forbes lists JD in his lungi kurta as the Man of the Year (Mithun Chakraborty, ha ha). Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone but this JD is actually Jagga Daku, a dacoit who went straight and made pots of pounds, shilling and pence. Now he shampooes a spotted white horse every morning and woe betide, tolerates a running commentary on nothing in particular from his flunkey Johnny Lever. By now, you’re fed up, running a fever.

Next: it’s all quite foggy actually, except that during a matchmaking session with an old man wearing furry ear muffs, is insulted by one of the Kapoors. Ear Muffs lands in hospital. His son (Shreyas Talpade, the only decent actor on the scene vows vengeance). As your lousy luck would have it, Ear Muffs Jr’s best friend and collaborator in the vendetta plan is none other than JD’s only son (Riteish Deshmukh). Complicated? You bet. After reels and reels of yelling and screaming, the Daku’s stately manor is packed with con guys (Akshay Kumar-John Abraham) who’re trying to make out with only the screenplay-alone knows which girl (Asin, Jacqueline Ferandes, Shazahn Padamsee and Make-up Galore). At one point, all their photos are pinned on a board just in case you’re lost. Or you’re down on your knees begging for mercy. Yipes.

More: tolerate if you can, a crocodile who needs a quick-fix dentist, a python who’s referred to as Francis Ford Sappola and an entire farcical section set on a desert island, to recreate a bit of the Kaho Na Pyaar Hai flavour. In vain. Much more: Item empress Malaika Arora-Khan shows up to tantalise Mithun Chakraborty and Boman Irani, who suddenly drops in from the high heavens. Is Mithunda or apro Boman her prime choice? Perhaps that’ll be revelead in Lousefull 3. Shudder.

Flaunting the attitude that his film – or whatever – is brazenly asinine, Khan even seems to believe that the mention of the Mumbai suburb, Bhandup, is rib-tickingly funny. Ditto the smatterings of Marathi and Sindhi. Oldtimer Ranjit fetches up to play the part of Daddy Th-e-rapist. And frequently when Rishi Kapoor is in frame, the background music tinkers around with themes from the great RK films. Oof.

No one’s performance is likely to be remembered. Correction: Chunky Panday as a Mr Pasta is so nerve-wracking that you might need to be on medication immediately. Riteish Deshmukh either hams or apes Shah Ruk Khan. Desi boyz Akshay Kumar and John Abraham are stale as yesterday’s Shepherd’s pie.

Enough is enough. Over to Mr Khan for his mandatory, “I don’t make movies to get good reviews.” Sure. He just makes bad movies. Period.

Ishaqzaade release advanced to May 11

The release date of Ishaqzaade, starring Parineeti Chopra and newcomer Arjun Kapoor, has been advanced from May 18 to May 11, resulting in a clash with Dangerous Ishq. The decision to release the romance drama a week earlier came in after much thought by production company Yash Raj Films (YRF).

"With 'Ferrari ki Sawaari' moving to a later date and the IPL (Indian Premier League) crunch matches starting from May 18, this shift will give 'Ishaqzaade' a better window for release," said a statement from YRF.

The movie tells the story of two fiery characters and their fight for power and supremacy.

Written and directed by Habib Faisal of Do Dooni Chaar fame, the film narrate how two people who are born to hate, and destined to love, come face-to-face with each other.

With the shift in release date, "Ishaqzaade" will clash with Vikram Bhatt's Dangerous Ishq, which marks the comeback of Karisma Kapoor to Bollywood after five years.

Titanic 3D — On board, once more

A love story and a doomed ship that have out-sailed time …Titanic 3D enthrals with its blend of spectacular visuals and old-fashioned melodrama

“Are you ready to go back to Titanic,” was the question treasure hunter Brock Lovett asked a 100-year-old Rose, over 15 years ago, when the film first hit the screens.

Were she alive today, Rose would have recalled, “It's been a 100 years... I can still smell the fresh paint. The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in...”

The real Titanic sank exactly a 100 years ago, on April 15, 1912.

Such is the magic of cinema. It almost makes us believe that Jack and Rose really lived, loved and made every moment count on board the Titanic.

And we can say the same thing Rose says about James Cameron's film today: “How extraordinary. It looks the same as the last time I saw it. The reflection has changed a bit.” Because, it's in 3D this time.

Cameron fought hard to bring his painstakingly-detailed passion project alive on the big screen fighting all kinds of pressure — mounting budgets, studio's reservation about the length and the mind-boggling logistical nature of the mammoth production. He not only told the studio he would forfeit his remuneration, he even refused to give in to pressure to cut one full hour from its 194 minutes run-time. “If you have to cut my film, you have to fire me. And to fire me, you'll have to kill me.”

Everyone had written it off and Cameron found himself in the shoes of Jack at the poker game at the beginning of the film. “When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose.”

Cameron wasn't hoping for luck. He believed in it, like its villain Cal Hockley said: “I make my own luck.”

His Titanic turned out to be the ship of dreams that didn't sink. It went on to break all kinds of records and continues to be the film that has sold more tickets than any other film in the history of cinema. And still sells, given the house-full shows it opened to on Friday.

It was like being on sail once again, inside the doomed ship. Nostalgic, special, inexplicably beautiful and magical.

Like Rose described Picasso: “It's like being inside a dream or something. There's truth but no logic.”

Titanic is full of lines you will never forget. They weren't the best written lines and Cameron himself wished he had written it better. But the truth is that no other film of our times packs as many memorable quotes as Titanic does.

“I'm the king of the world,” probably being the most popular of them all, associated with Cameron's acceptance speech at the Oscars. Titanic went on to win 11 out of the 14 Oscar nominations, a whopping harvest.

So what is it about Titanic that everybody loves?

Spectacularly beautiful and epic in scale, the film just used all that was great about its production as a mere backdrop for the love story that gave the film its heart. Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet shared a terrific chemistry and the erotically charged frames made it impossible for us to not appreciate the sheer beauty of this forbidden romance between the engaged rich girl and the poor artist boy.

Jack stood for free spirit: “I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up.” And Rose loved that freedom.

It's a dynamic with timeless appeal. The more modern, materialistic and busy we get making a living, we have the Jacks remind us about the basics of living a life. “Make every moment count.”

How can you not love a love story that celebrates the selflessness of love. “You jump, I jump, remember?”

It's a finale that chokes us every time we see it. The proof that love can keep us afloat even when there are people dying all around us. We must survive so that we can make the most of our lives. I was far away from any movie theatre showing Titanic when it released and remember watching it at a video parlour in Manipal. I have caught it many times since on TV. But nothing, I repeat nothing, matches the impact it leaves when you watch the epic unfold on the big screen. If you still haven't got yourself a ticket, do it.

Plus, you don't have to worry about crying your eyes out in public at the beautifully tragic sight of the Titanic drowning theatres anymore.

Ishaqzaade's first trailer

The first official trailer of Yash Raj Films' much-awaited Ishaqzaade is finally out. The film, which marks the debut of filmmaker Boney Kapoor's son Arjun opposite actor Priyanka Chopra's cousin Parineeti, has already generated a great deal of buzz on Twitter.

The film narrates the story of two people, "born to hate, but destined to love", and follows how their "turbulent journey unfolds in the often unrealistic and daunting political confines of rural India", a statement from YRF said on Sunday.

The film is written and directed by Habib Faisal of Do Dooni Chaar fame. He has also written films like Band Baaja Baaraat.

Amit Trivedi will compose the music for the film, while Rekha and Chinni Prakash will choreograph it.

Theatrical Trailer - ISHAQZAADE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46kTKQ0C2Ek

I feel cheated, says Subhash Ghai: Whistling Woods Row

Breaking his silence after two successive court verdicts cancelling allotment of land to his Whistling Woods International film academy, veteran filmmaker Subhash Ghai said he "felt cheated by the Maharashtra Government". "I feel cheated by the Government of Maharashtra when we are told,after ten years of setting up Whistling Woods International at a cost of Rs.75 crore, that our joint venture agreement since the year 2000 is not valid," a hurt Ghai said in a statement here Friday.

He said the reason given (for the cancellation) was that because of a government error a board resolution was not passed and the land was undervalued.

"What is our fault? They gave the agreement to us signed by the then MD, cultural secretary and minister of culture to have a partnership in Whistling Woods Ltd with share equity and we invested Rs.20 crore to begin with," Ghai said.

Proving a major setback to Ghai, the Supreme Court two days ago (Wednesday) dismissed an appeal by Mukta Arts Ltd, owned by Ghai, challenging a Bombay High Court ruling cancelling allotment of 20 acres of prime land in Goregaon east for his film academy, Whistling Woods International.

Observing that the entire transaction 'lacked transparency', the apex court said last Wednesday that the application for allotting the land remained in cold storage under three chief ministers and was revived after Vilasrao Deshmukh became the CM and the land was allotted by him.

Last February, the Bombay High Court had quashed allotment of the land for the state-of-the-art world-class film academy, a joint venture between Mukta Arts Ltd and the Maharashtra Films, Stage & Cultural Development Corporation.

Undeterred by the change in the legal status and reduction in size of the land from 20 acres to 5.5 acres, Ghai said he was proud that 500 alumni have passed out since 2006 and are already "very well placed, and 400 are still studying here".

Meanwhile, top industry personalities have come out in Ghai's support.

Eminent filmmaker Shekhar Kapoor said Ghai spent 15 years' time and energy to create 'a centre of learning for film'.

"Whistling Woods International is not a scam. He should be applauded. It is not possible to build educational institutions at current land prices in any city and the government has to allot land for this. Tisch School of the Arts in Singapore is on land given free by the government and now that country's directors are making grade worldwide," Kapoor said.

Another acclaimed film-maker Shyam Benegal said he felt "deeply saddened" by the court verdict in the matter as Ghai had made it his life's mission to create a world class film school.

"Mumbai could now pride itself on having a film school as good as any in the world, and suddenly this. Strange," Benegal lamented.

Reacting immediately after the apex court ruling, Ghai had said: "We are opening branches of Whistling Woods International in many states. My production house Mukta Arts is also carrying on the movie-production business full-steam ahead."

Remembering Divya Bharti on her 19th death anniversary

Divya Bharti (25 February 1974 – 5 April 1993) was an Indian film actress. She started her career in the South film industry with the 1990 Telugu film. After several other hits in the South, she entered Hindi films with Vishwatma in 1992, for which she earned accolades for her performance in the song Saat Samundar Paar. She appeared in more than 14 Hindi films between 1992 and 1993. Her career was cut short by her death on 5 April 1993, when she fell from her apartment building. The investigation into the circumstances of her death was closed in 1998.

Rise to stardom in Bollywood (1992–1993)

When Bharti heard that Rajiv Rai was on the lookout for a new face for his film Vishwatma opposite Sunny Deol, she approached him and was signed onto the film the same day. Bharti left for long outdoor shooting in Nairobi. By the time of her return, Bharti had signed 14 films.

Vishwatma was released on January 2, 1992. Although it did well, the film was only declared an average grosser. Notably, the film's most popular song "Saat Samundar", which focused on Bharti, became a hit.

Seven days later, Bharti's musical bonanza Dil Ka Kya Kasoorreleased but opened badly. However, Filmfare magazines started including Bharti in the list of 1992 "Top Ten Best Actress Performances". After Bharti's flops, she was quoted as saying, "I wanted to prove myself. But I've fallen flat on my face. Now, I have to begin my climb all over again. Yet, I'm positive that one day, success will be mine." (Stardust, March 1992).

Pehlaj Nihlani's Shola Aur Shabnam came along and was a box office hit, establishing Bharti once again. It also gave a big boost to Govinda's career, as well as launching David Dhawan as an established director.

Four months later, Raj Kanwar's love story Deewana became the biggest hit of 1992, where Bharti held her own against veteran Rishi Kapoor and debutant Shahrukh Khan. With the super success of Deewana, Bharti entered the A-list. Her performance in Deewana was highly appreciated. Around that time, her other films Balwan with another debutant Sunil Shetty and Jaan Se Pyara with Govinda released and did well at the box office. By the end of the year, Hema Mailini's Dil Aashna Hai was released. Although the film was a box-office failure, Bharti's performance was much appreciated by critics.

Death

Around midnight of 5 April 1993, Bharti fell to her death from a five-story Versova apartment building in Mumbai. There was much speculation by the media regarding Bharti's sudden demise, including the possibility of accidental death, suicide or even murder. Bharti's dress designer Neeta Lulla is believed to have been at the apartment sometime before her death. Police closed investigation in 1998, but the circumstances of her death still remain a mystery.

Bharti's body was released to her family, who had arranged for a cremation ceremony. On 7 April 1995, Bharti was cremated in Hindu fashion with about 500 people in attendance, including Anil Kapoor, Govinda, Kamal Sadanah, Raj Babbar,
Yash Chopra, Jimmy Nirula, Aruna Irani, Raza Murad, Chirinjeevi, Vikas Anand, Venkatesh, Ram Mohan, Javed Khan, Raj Kanwar, Nitin Manmohan and Pehlaj Nehlani. A large number of film personalities, including Hema Mailini, Urmila Matondkar, Saif Ali Khan, Shahrukh Khan, Shilpa Shirodkar, Sonu Walia, Somy Ali, Babita, Karisma Kapoor, Sangeeta Bijlani, Tabu, Manisha Koirala and Asha Parekh, offered condolences to the bereaved family members at their residence. Her husband, Sajid Nadiawla was not allowed to attend her last rites. At the time of her death, Bharti had been the youngest leading lady of Indian cinema.

Bharti was scheduled to star in movies such as Mohra, Laadla, Andolan, Angrakshak, Kartavya and Vijaypath  before her death. She had started filming Laadla before her death but the entire movie was re-shot with Sridevi The footage of her performance was seen in a special television programme in 1994. The film was to be released in 1993 had Divya completed the movie, but was eventually released in 1994. Bharti is notably famous for her film songs, which were generally a rage amongst youths.

Bharti's two completed films, Rang and Shatranj were released months after her death. These films, in addition to several films produced by her husband Sajid Nadiadwala, were dedicated to her memory.

Salman, Shah Rukh war of words continues

Shah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan don't seem to be ready to bury the hatchet yet, to go by their comments at two different events. 

Business tycoon Mukesh Ambani and his wife Neeta organised a gala event last week to honour Sachin Tendulkar for scoring his 100th ton and invited several Bollywood stars, cricketers and politicians. 

From Aamir Khan to Salman to Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai - all big names from the film industry were present, but SRK was conspicuous by his absence. 

At the party, praising Sachin, Salman said: "I hope record ye toot jaye...koi na koi isse tod de...main Aamir ka record bahut der se todney ki koshish kar raha hoon...toot hi nahin raha hai... 

"Sachin ke record todna mushkil hi nahin namumkin hai...aur ye Don nahin main bol raha hoon. Aur bol bhi sakta hoon kyonki mera father (Salim Khan) ne likhi hai ye picture. Rights toh unhi ke paas ahin. Amitji (Amitabh Bachchan) ne ki thi ye picture." 

Reacting to this, Shah Rukh told reporters on Monday: "I get numb by the kind of stories I keep hearing about myself. I try not to take them seriously or comment about them." 

SRK was speaking at the unveiling of customer campaign for season five of the Indian Premier League (IPL). 

Asked about this, Salman explained that his father wrote that line for Amitabh Bachchan and that he has every right to use it. 

"Yes, I made the right comments. My father did not take any objection on that," he told reporters Monday while announcing his association with yatra.com.

Lata Mangeshkar to honour Madhuri Dixit

April 24 is a day when the Nightingale Lata Mangeshkar honours the memory of her late father Pandit Dinanath Mangeshkar by honoring excellence in the field of arts and asocial services. 

This year's recipient is Madhuri Dixit, just back for good in amchi Mumbai after a lengthy residency in the US, Madhuri has always been self-declared Lata Mnageshkar fan. The highlight of her career, says Dixit, was when Lataji sang Didi tere devar deewana and other memorabilia for the actress in " Hum Aapke Hain Koun". 

Says Lataji, "Madhuri is a very fine actress and one of the most beautiful and graceful dancers of our cinema. I always like watching her on screen. "Hum Aapke Hain Koun" and "Devdas" are my favourites. Whenever we meet we chatter in Marathi." 

Interestingly the function to commemorate her father's death anniversary would be the second public event Lataji would be seen attending in a month, a rare feat for the super-reclusive singing legend who hardly steps out . 

Says Lataji, "The function in my father's memory is something our family and I don't miss any year. This year I am just a little worried about the heat which is grown unbearable. As for the other function, for Sachin Tendulkar... how could I miss that? Sachin is like my son. He calls meMaa. Mukesh's wife Neeta requested me to be there." 

As for singing for Sachin, the Nightingale laughs, "I think people were taken aback because I haven't sung publicly in a long time. I knew Mera saaya saath hoga is Sachin's favourite song. But I asked him at the function. He got up and said, 'Yes, it's my favourite song and I'd be honoured if you sing two lines of that song.' Did I have a choice after that?"

Lengthy Bollywood style ceremony launches IPL 5

CHENNAI: Bollywood superstars Salman Khan,Kareena Kapoor and American pop sensationKaty Perry were the highlights of a lengthy opening ceremony of the fifth edition of the IPL, which failed to live up to its high expectations on Tuesday night despite the huge glamour quotient. 

Although there was no dearth of star power with megastar Amitabh Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra, Prabhu Deva attending the opening nite, it still drew a lacklustre response from the nearly 15,000 spectators who had gathered at the YMCA College of Physical Education. 

Even the attempts by the hosts to cheer up the crowd failed to enthuse the audience who were subjected to a typical Bollywood style entertainment but without much verve and spirit. 

Amitabh, returning to work after two abdominal surgeries earlier this year, started the proceedings for the evening with a rendition of a poem 'If I were to be born again', written by renowned lyricist Prasoon Joshi. 

The 69-year-old veteran actor with his baritone voice and inimitable style hit the right chords but the dance performance choreographed by Shiamak Davar at the background was a dampener. 

The rendition started to the ceremony, which set the stage for the 54-day extravaganza featuring nine teams who would be locked in a battle for the next two months. 

South African percussion band First Project, composer DJ Ravi Drums and Colonial Cousins then took the stage and churned out their brand of music. 

Bollywood actress Priyanka Chopra then put her dancing shoes and performed to hit numbers from her films such as 'Don', 'Don 2' and 'Kaminey', which even saw India spinner Harbhajan Singh shaking a leg along with her. 

India's dancing sensation and Chennai's own Prabhu Deva then burned the dance floor with his performance where he danced to songs from films such as 'Wanted' and 'Hum Se Hai Muqablah'. 

Two-time title winners, Chennai Super Kings then took the stage and Priyanka Chopra shared some light moments with the cricketers as she quizzed skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni and also taught Australian Doug Bollinger and Indian spinner R Ashwin some dancing steps. 

The 'Chammak Challo' of the Tinsel town, Kareena Kapoor then performed her dance numbers from films such as 'Ra One' and the latest 'Agent Vinod'. 

The opening nite then saw the oath taking ceremony by the skippers of the nine teams, including retired Rahul Dravid and Australian Adam Gilchrist, as they signed the MCC Spirit of Cricketpledge. 

Defending champions CSK skipper Dhoni placed the trophy back on the podium and BCCIpresident N Srinivasan and IPL chairman Rajiv Shukla then joined the players on stage. 

"IPL has grown from strength to strength and has established itself as a premiere tournament. BCCI is extremely proud of this achievement. But who is the cause? First the commitment of the players both international and domestic, who participated in the event, the enthusiasm of the franchises and assistance of the supporting stuffs and the cricket fans in India and around the world have contributed to its great success. We expect IPL 5 to be no less," Srinivasan said. 

"We have not forgotten who played for us. The BCCI will give an one-time opportunity to cricketers who have graced Indian cricket -- International cricketer as well as domestic cricketers who played from a long time. 

"Over 185 players will be benefited from it and we will start the distribution from this year. It is a small thank you from us to those who have done yeoman service to Indian cricket," he added. 

Shukla then flagged off the fifth edition, saying: "It gives me a great pleasure to flag off the fifth edition of the DLF Indian Premier League, an arena where quality international and domestic cricketers take part in intense contest of strategy and skill. IPL is a platform where talent meets opportunity." 

Bollywood superstar Salman Khan then tried to set the stage ablaze with his 'Dhinka Chika' act from the film 'Ready', followed by performances to some foot-tapping numbers from 'Body Guard', 'Wanted', 'Partner' and 'Jab Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kiya' but his performance too lacked the punch. 

After some Bollywood razzle-dazzle, Perry dished out a sumptuous musical treat and performed some of her superhits such as 'fireworks' and 'California Girls'. 

The singer, who had tied the knot with now estranged husband Russell Brand, in India in 2010, was the star attraction of the evening and her maiden performance in the country, rounded off the evening. 

Dazzling fireworks lit up the evening sky as the ceremony which lasted about two and a half hours came to end. 

The main action will start from Wednesday when defending champions Chennai Super Kings starts their campaign against Champions Leagues title holder Mumbai Indians in the tournament opener at the MA Chidambaram Stadium.
Courtesy: TOI

Quebec pranksters sign Charlie Sheen for 'The Artist' sequel

MONTREAL - Quebec pranksters revealed Monday they convinced actor Charlie Sheen to star in a sequel to the Oscar-winning silent film "The Artist."

Marc-Antoine Audette, a Montreal radio personality known locally as half of the duo Masked Avengers, pretended to be the film's award-winning actor Jean Dujardin in a telephone call to Sheen, once television's highest-paid actor.

He told Sheen in an exaggerated French accent that he wanted to make a comedy with him to raise money for a foundation against dictators.

Sheen congratulated Dujardin on his Oscar win.

"Thank you for considering me, that's very sweet," he also said, accepting the offer despite at times being unable to understand what the caller was saying.

Sheen earned $2 million per show for his role as a hedonistic bachelor in "Two and a Half Men" but he was fired for slamming its producer Chuck Lorre in a rant described by his bosses as part of a "self-inflicted disintegration."

The two Montreal pranksters have also snared Bill Gates, Britney Spears, Paul McCartney, even Sarah Palin during the 2008 U.S. election, in their gags.